January 1, 2010

Blind Date

Filed under: Adoption, Birth mother — adoptation @ 2:22 pm

Our first contact with our birth mother seems to have gone swimmingly. We sent a short, positive e-mail on Wednesday morning, and by the end of the day had gotten an enthusiastic, fairly long e-mail in return. On Thursday morning we sent a longer note, this time answering some of her questions and adding a couple of our own.

And now it’s Friday. Friday afternoon. And no sign of a reply from the birth mother.

Now, I think it’s important to point out that Thursday was December 31, and today is New Year’s Day. It’s a holiday. People do things on holidays, they go places, and they’re not necessarily sitting in front of a computer waiting to hear from a pair of virtual strangers—which, when you get down to it, is pretty much what we are.

I’ve been talking my wife down off the ledge from this, and my arguments are pretty convincing, if I do say so myself. Mainly, we don’t know very much about this woman. She could work somewhere that offers double-time pay for people willing to work through the holiday; she could have a longstanding New Year tradition of traveling to a remote cabin with friends or family to celebrate; she might only have computer access at work, and the office is closed; or maybe she’s just got a life that’s different from ours, insofar as it doesn’t revolve around constantly checking in online.

On the other hand, of course, something we said could have freaked her out. Or the very instance of getting in touch with us made the adoption process real for her, real in a way that it hadn’t been yet. Maybe she sent a question about us to her case worker, and the holiday is going to delay the answer.

Or maybe not. Or maybe all of those things. Or maybe none.

My wife said, “I feel like I’m Internet dating again.” We certainly are on the strangest blind date of our lives. And just like in that situation, it’s easy to read too much or the wrong thing into every little perceived turn of events. Hopefully the birth mother is just somewhere having fun and getting the new year off on a good foot. If all is still going according to plan, 2010 is set to be a corker of a year for all of us.


1 Comment »

  1. […] Filed under: Adoption, Birth mother, Preparation — adoptation @ 1:51 pm We still haven’t heard back from our birth mom…but I did fire off a semi-panicked note to one of our people at the […]

    Pingback by Open Eyes « Adoptation — January 3, 2010 @ 1:51 pm

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