February 19, 2010

Smile for the Camera

Filed under: Adoption, Birth mother, Newborn, Parentood — adoptation @ 4:05 pm

One of the things you learn in any and all writing courses is: Know your audience. This doesn’t mean that you should pander to the audience; rather, it’s about understanding to whom you are talking and speaking in a way that makes sense for all involved.

I’m finding myself translating that lesson a bit as I take pictures of our son. The funny thing is, the audience I have in mind isn’t his grandparents or even a future version of me. It’s his birth mom.

As with most adoption situations, one of the terms of our agreement is that the birth mom will receive regular letter/photo updates about the baby/child, all the way up to his 18th birthday. As befits our situation and the times, so far we’re also maintaining online contact that goes beyond the minimum requirements.

And so I’ve already uploaded some photos for her to see, and will be sending the 30-day update very soon. As a result, I find myself making sure to take photos I know she’ll want to see, whether they be milestones that would be meaningful to her or snapshot details of his new situation that line up with what she’d wanted for him. As I begin writing the story of my son’s life in words and pictures, his birth mom is one of the key audiences I’m writing for. My wife and I love love love having this kid in our lives, and we know that she’s as important a player as there’s been in the situation—so photos that will make her happy and continue to let her know that we were the right choice for this baby are among the most important pictures I’ll be taking for some time to come.


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